I examined myself last night, how fine I am. Then I realized I am sick, very sick! I cried out loud in Him and confessed what I really feel. He knows everything about what inside my heart and mind. I am bombarded of anxious thoughts. I hate to admit that I’m a worrier. And precisely because there a lot of people like me, Jesus addressed this problem in Matthew 6:25-34 when He said: “Don’t worry about the basic needs of life-food, clothing, shelter –and don’t worry about tomorrow. Worry may be a symptom of a bigger problem. Sometimes it’s a lack of gratitude for the way God has cared for us in the past. Or perhaps it’s a lack of faith that God really is trustworthy. Or it may be a refusal to depend on God instead of ourselves.
Deep inside my heart I believe this things I experience right now just mere a test of faith. I can’t help it to thank Him and praise His name because He shown His love and care to me. Every trials I encountered, He always there for me as a source of strength and encourage to fight. He guides me where to go, assist me when I feel weak and lifted me when I stumble. Amazing! He really works! He never fails us and I felt guilty about it.
Someone shared me this wonderful SMS, a prayer that I think really designed for me to pray to Him. It said:
“Lord, thank You for Your infinite love that meet our every need and provides all the beautiful, wonderful things we experience in life. Release our hearts and minds from anger, fear and worry. Fill us with your peace, as we learn to fully trust in Your provision. Help us to do all that we are capable of and the rest, we entrust to you. In God’s name, we pray, Amen.
--------------this blog post written last July 1, 2009 Wednesday--------------
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label myself. Show all posts
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
story of trust
A poor man prayed in earnest for his family. “Lord, we have depended so much on the kindness of others, now we seek a home to call our own. As you know, my body has become weak from this terrible illness which has finally left me and I have leaned so much on others that I don’t even know if I can stand on my own. I ask you , God, for the strength of body and spirit, wisdom, and to help provide a home for my darling wife and children.”
A tear fell down from the man’s eye.
A few days later, a kind and elderly widow heard of this father’s plight. “I have a plot of land you may have to build upon, but it is sorely overgrown with thick brush, trees, and large rocks. I will gladly give it to you, but it will be a laborsome undertaking”, she said. The man also knew this, yet he accepted the widow’s generous offer, knowing such an opportunity might not again pass. The man stood afar and surveyed his newly gained property. Looking up, he smiled and said, “Lord, I asked You for a home and You give me this gnarled forest? I will trust and be thankful for the gift before me.”
Several days into major undertaking of leveling the land off, the man slumped against the twentieth tree he cut by hand. Sweat poured from his body, which was covered by ruddy brown earth. “Lord!” he shouted, “Why did You choose this God-forsaken plot of land? Is this my punishment for not taking care of my family while sick these last few years? Is this type of loving God You are?” Exasperated, the man clenched his fist and went back to work, muttering to himself, “I will continue to trust.”
Several months past. Upon resting under the final tree to be removed, the man looked about him in wonder. Before him stood a beautiful plot of land to build a home. The lush forest surrounding the leveled area would provide good protection from the cold winter winds and offer an abundant supply of firewood to keep warm. In a large pile next to the leveled earth, were neatly stacked tree trunks. They would make excellent logs to build a cabin. Ashamed for thinking God had left him in his most dire time of need, the man rested his head in his hands. Suddenly, he looked in to his palms. These were not the same weak hands that could barely grasp a cup to drink from. Instead, they were strong and fit, as was the rest of his body from the many months of hard physical labor. The man looked up and smiled, saying, “My dear God, thank you. You answered my prayer, even in my worst moments of doubt. You took my weakness and turned it into strength and my lack of understanding, into wisdom. I will rest a while now, and begin to build my family a house.”
A tear fell down from the man’s eye.
A few days later, a kind and elderly widow heard of this father’s plight. “I have a plot of land you may have to build upon, but it is sorely overgrown with thick brush, trees, and large rocks. I will gladly give it to you, but it will be a laborsome undertaking”, she said. The man also knew this, yet he accepted the widow’s generous offer, knowing such an opportunity might not again pass. The man stood afar and surveyed his newly gained property. Looking up, he smiled and said, “Lord, I asked You for a home and You give me this gnarled forest? I will trust and be thankful for the gift before me.”
Several days into major undertaking of leveling the land off, the man slumped against the twentieth tree he cut by hand. Sweat poured from his body, which was covered by ruddy brown earth. “Lord!” he shouted, “Why did You choose this God-forsaken plot of land? Is this my punishment for not taking care of my family while sick these last few years? Is this type of loving God You are?” Exasperated, the man clenched his fist and went back to work, muttering to himself, “I will continue to trust.”
Several months past. Upon resting under the final tree to be removed, the man looked about him in wonder. Before him stood a beautiful plot of land to build a home. The lush forest surrounding the leveled area would provide good protection from the cold winter winds and offer an abundant supply of firewood to keep warm. In a large pile next to the leveled earth, were neatly stacked tree trunks. They would make excellent logs to build a cabin. Ashamed for thinking God had left him in his most dire time of need, the man rested his head in his hands. Suddenly, he looked in to his palms. These were not the same weak hands that could barely grasp a cup to drink from. Instead, they were strong and fit, as was the rest of his body from the many months of hard physical labor. The man looked up and smiled, saying, “My dear God, thank you. You answered my prayer, even in my worst moments of doubt. You took my weakness and turned it into strength and my lack of understanding, into wisdom. I will rest a while now, and begin to build my family a house.”
Saturday, April 25, 2009
exhausted
recently, i taking up my review for PNLE for this coming June.
I feel soooooooo exhausted and i cant convey the right adjective about what I really feel.
I feel so anxious! Based on our review I'm now in Mild anxiety level! Low serotonin level which results to desturbed sleeping pattern and feeling unhappy.
gush! I'm preoccupied a lot of things- "pano kung di ako makapasa?", "antalino ng mga kasama ko. ako naman? Im just an average student!" Ang sama ko I'm comparing myself to other people. Another thing, I see my parents na medyo nahihirapan sila sa kalagayan namin ngayon. Right now, my father taking up his "schooling" here in davao city kaya pareho kame ni papa na andito sa davao everyday siya umuwe sa amin kaya ang gastos and everything lumalaki din. Si mama ang kawawa nahihirapan na sa pagbabudget na pera para sa gastusin. Sagad na palabigasan! este! babuyan pala, yun ang meron kame.. joke lang! mukhang seryoso naman ang post na eto..
I know kaya ko eto pero... di ko lang maiwasan na isipin ang mga bagay na eto.
I have faith with God, my GREAT PROVIDER and He always keep His promises. Forgive me oh Lord for being such. Help me! Help me!
I feel soooooooo exhausted and i cant convey the right adjective about what I really feel.
I feel so anxious! Based on our review I'm now in Mild anxiety level! Low serotonin level which results to desturbed sleeping pattern and feeling unhappy.
gush! I'm preoccupied a lot of things- "pano kung di ako makapasa?", "antalino ng mga kasama ko. ako naman? Im just an average student!" Ang sama ko I'm comparing myself to other people. Another thing, I see my parents na medyo nahihirapan sila sa kalagayan namin ngayon. Right now, my father taking up his "schooling" here in davao city kaya pareho kame ni papa na andito sa davao everyday siya umuwe sa amin kaya ang gastos and everything lumalaki din. Si mama ang kawawa nahihirapan na sa pagbabudget na pera para sa gastusin. Sagad na palabigasan! este! babuyan pala, yun ang meron kame.. joke lang! mukhang seryoso naman ang post na eto..
I know kaya ko eto pero... di ko lang maiwasan na isipin ang mga bagay na eto.
I have faith with God, my GREAT PROVIDER and He always keep His promises. Forgive me oh Lord for being such. Help me! Help me!
Sunday, March 22, 2009
goodbye?
I really hate goodbye.
I am thinking the upcoming graduation and it quiet approaching.
Can I stop the time?
Well, it is impossible to happen.
Lately, I didn't think about this thing but now I'm thinking of it and I think the upcoming week is a really hard time for a senior student like me. A lot of things to miss with my co-board mates, classmates, batch mates, my clinical instructors, general education instructors, etc. In my four years in college really wonderful one. I experience how to be independent and I able to make decisions by my own based from the advices and suggestions of my parents and love ones. For the first time I really that I am FREE from the cage and chain of control or suppression.
to be continued......
I am thinking the upcoming graduation and it quiet approaching.
Can I stop the time?
Well, it is impossible to happen.
Lately, I didn't think about this thing but now I'm thinking of it and I think the upcoming week is a really hard time for a senior student like me. A lot of things to miss with my co-board mates, classmates, batch mates, my clinical instructors, general education instructors, etc. In my four years in college really wonderful one. I experience how to be independent and I able to make decisions by my own based from the advices and suggestions of my parents and love ones. For the first time I really that I am FREE from the cage and chain of control or suppression.
to be continued......
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My simple thanks
Every one wants feel special.
For me any thing you made something for me big or small, I do treasure it in my heart.
Last March 10 Tuesday, I celebrate my birthday (how old I am? better to keep it myself. hehehe I not that old nor young as you think.)
When I woke up that day, as I check my cellphone I don't receive any sms message. They forgot that it was my day. I said to myself it was too early to think about it. They will greet me anyway not that moment. Then, I got a message from close friend and at the same time my classmate named Ronnel asking me "asa ka grace? what time ka punta school?". Grrr.. nakakainis akala ko babatiin na ako yun pala hindi. I answered him and told him "ganyan ka nakalimutan mo na today is my birthday..huhuhu " And he answered me, "wait! I something for grasya. part ito na di muna kita babatiin para may thrill".
I came to school that day with a lot of things to do I set my mind that it would be a busy day and I think I can't enjoy this day. We had our finals exam on our major subjects.
To admit, I expect that a lot of people will greet me that day. (goal met ako doon!hehehe madami nga and I feel happy about it.) Partly, I am sad because my best of friends Gina and Mitchelle didn't greet even in my friendster or just a simple sms message I don't received from them anything. Magtatampo nga rin sana ako sa bestfriend kong si Aaron. Siya rin may gimik haaay.. I thought he forgot me also. hmpf.
To summed it up, that day was a wonderful. A lot of things to give thanks with.
My parents and relatives who inspired me at all times, served as my strength and give their enduring support in my every pace of my life.
To my friends and classmates who were there for me who shared their tears and laughters with me. Thank you Ronnel and Neri you open my heart and mind to trust again a friend.
To my bestfriend Aaron who been there for me especially when I am down and feel so weak. He became my great listener. Though we did not see each other for 12 months and 110 days it is not hindrance to keep the friendship we had. I do treasure the friendship I found on you. Trust me as your best friend.
To April my dear childhood friend, who really knows me from the very beginning. I do treasure you as my friend and my sister. You are such a wonderful gift! Ever since, di pa tayo nag-away if that day will come I don't know what to do.
Gift from Ronnel. He made this movie for me. :-)
For me any thing you made something for me big or small, I do treasure it in my heart.
Last March 10 Tuesday, I celebrate my birthday (how old I am? better to keep it myself. hehehe I not that old nor young as you think.)
When I woke up that day, as I check my cellphone I don't receive any sms message. They forgot that it was my day. I said to myself it was too early to think about it. They will greet me anyway not that moment. Then, I got a message from close friend and at the same time my classmate named Ronnel asking me "asa ka grace? what time ka punta school?". Grrr.. nakakainis akala ko babatiin na ako yun pala hindi. I answered him and told him "ganyan ka nakalimutan mo na today is my birthday..huhuhu " And he answered me, "wait! I something for grasya. part ito na di muna kita babatiin para may thrill".
I came to school that day with a lot of things to do I set my mind that it would be a busy day and I think I can't enjoy this day. We had our finals exam on our major subjects.
To admit, I expect that a lot of people will greet me that day. (goal met ako doon!hehehe madami nga and I feel happy about it.) Partly, I am sad because my best of friends Gina and Mitchelle didn't greet even in my friendster or just a simple sms message I don't received from them anything. Magtatampo nga rin sana ako sa bestfriend kong si Aaron. Siya rin may gimik haaay.. I thought he forgot me also. hmpf.
To summed it up, that day was a wonderful. A lot of things to give thanks with.
My parents and relatives who inspired me at all times, served as my strength and give their enduring support in my every pace of my life.
To my friends and classmates who were there for me who shared their tears and laughters with me. Thank you Ronnel and Neri you open my heart and mind to trust again a friend.
To my bestfriend Aaron who been there for me especially when I am down and feel so weak. He became my great listener. Though we did not see each other for 12 months and 110 days it is not hindrance to keep the friendship we had. I do treasure the friendship I found on you. Trust me as your best friend.
To April my dear childhood friend, who really knows me from the very beginning. I do treasure you as my friend and my sister. You are such a wonderful gift! Ever since, di pa tayo nag-away if that day will come I don't know what to do.
Gift from Ronnel. He made this movie for me. :-)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A coming exhausted days
Tomorrow is the start of a busy days two days clinical rotation in operating room, another two days for seminar that we are going to facilitate, two days duty in Community Health Organization after that we'll have our class from 5 o'clock in the afternoon until 9 o'clock in evening.
A lot of stuffs to do and I think 24 hours is not enough to finish those things.
However, I still optimistic that we can do it.
ga-graduate din ako sana sa this coming March!
A lot of stuffs to do and I think 24 hours is not enough to finish those things.
However, I still optimistic that we can do it.
ga-graduate din ako sana sa this coming March!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Self Criticism
Naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil tingin ko napakabobo ko. Mula sa mga lecture discussion na meron kami parang lahat ng yun ay walang naiwan sa utak ko. Haay, ewan ko ba. I feel guilty and pity about myself. I feel guilty because in my level I’m supposed to know everything but the truth is I am not that one. I feel pity about myself. Nakakaawa nga ako. I have something to do about it!
I listen with our class discussion, ward class, I read books and articles but I think it’s not enough. May mga pagkakataon sa mga clinical exposure namin na tinatanong ako ng Clinical Instructor namin pero hindi ako makasagot. In the moment that the Clinical Instructor will tell the answer and explain, sometimes I said to myself “alam ko yun ah nabasa ko na yun o nadiscuss na yun ng Clinical instructor naming last rotation bakit di ko yun nasagot?” Naunahan ako ng takot at pangamba baka mali ang sagot ko mas mabuti pa di sumagot at magkunwari na walang alam. I think this kind of attitude is bad and need to be change.
Alam ko na hindi naman ako ganoon katalino ngunit nais ko lamang na bilang isang estudyante dapat may alam ako nang magamit ko sa lahat ng oras. Isa pa mababa ang self-confidence ko may alam nga pero di naman alam kung paano ishare ang nalalaman sa iba o kaya walang lakas ng loob na sumagot lalo na pag oral recitation dahil mas iniisip ang sasabihin at iniiwasan na punain ng iba.
Kailan ako kikilos? Bukas? sa makalawa? Sa susunod na araw? Dapat ngayon na habang maaga pa at lahat ng pagkakataon ay nasa akin pa! Sa pamamagitan ng paghayag ng aking nadarama, nagpapakita ng aking munting hakbang ng aking pagbabago. Sana gabayan ako ng Maykapal. Alam ko di Niya ako iiwan. Andyan Siya sa lahat ng oras.
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