Thursday, November 20, 2008

rEgResSioN

It’s been four years that we’ve stop our communication but there are moments that I do remember you and reminisce the moments that we have together. The song that we sung together, the bonding that we have had together, your sense of humor and the most I missed about you is your presence. Every time I need someone to talk to, you where there for me to listen and somehow feels me that I’m important.

All these things were mere a dream where just my fantasy. Should I wake up in the middle of my dream? This is my only way to with you. I can’t blame myself either because I just love you. We are dealing with a lot of changes. I believe you’re not the same man that I’ve loved who leave me on the 3rd day of May 2005 and promised me that you’ll stay the same J***** that I‘ve known since then. The truth that I need to accept, you‘ve love someone else and I feel that you‘re happy with her. Meanwhile, the dwelling love for you needs to stop. I need to love myself and let go the feelings I have had for you. I need to free myself from your shadow and spread my wings away from you to see how beautiful life is it without you.

LATER
fra lippo lippi

How could you come with me
When you know all along but you have to go
How could you watch me sleep so close to you
Pretending not to know
How could you memorize my name
And forget who I am
How could you think you’re still the same
Believing I care.

It’s too late to stop pretending
It’s too late for a new beginning
Later than the sunset
Later than the rain
Later than never to love you again.

How could you ask for more
When an innocent smile trusting me to stay
How could you close the door and leave me here
Supposing I’m okay
How could you breakdown my disguise
And uncover my fears
How could you look into my eyes
Ignoring my tears.


Every time I hear this song it reminds me the moment I cried to the man I loved so much. I am so thankful with this song. It helps me to release the pain I felt. I believe PAIN is part of loving someone. I’m glad that I’ve experienced how to love and to be loved. Hence, loving someone is the best thing in this world. In my case, full of regrets fill in my heart. Why oh why he don’t have the courage to tell me his feelings when we still have the TIME to be TOGETHER. A lot of “if only” and “what if” fills my heart and mind. But still my heart is hoping that in the end we will be together in each other arms.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Bakit ba?
Di mo matanggap na wala na nga.
Matagal nang natapos ngunit binabalik balikan mo pa.
Di mo maamin sa iyong sarili, na siya lang talaga.

Mula pa noong una siya lang at wala ng iba.
Marami man ang dumating mula noong umalis ka.
Ikaw pa rin ang iniibig sinta.
Dahil ikaw lamang at walang hihigit pa.

Monday, October 20, 2008

defense on thesis

bukas na!
the judgment day...
magdefense na kame...
good luck na lang sa grupo namen..
buti na lang ang bait ng DIYOS
binigyan kame ng pagkakataon na ipresent
ang aming pinaghirapan.
ayoko kaya mag re-enrol next sem ng Research B..
para lang magdefend ng thesis namin...




Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Today, we don't have hospital duty..
nagbayad po kame
di sumipot sa area ang
clinical instructor namen..
char lang! nag galit galitan ba..hehehe
well happy ang lahat kase nga
walang duty pahinga lang sa library..
ginawang tambayan ang library...
yun ang utos ng coordinator eh...
what gonna happen today? well, abangan..(",)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

kainis!grrrr...

katatapos lang ng exam namen.. grabeh! ang hirap naman!
epistaxis! di kinaya! mahirap talaga.. ginawa ko ang best ko but i think my best is not enough.
kulang pa ang pagrereview ko..
kainis!haaaayyyy...
nakakadepress naman...

yesterday! July 15, 2008 @ the lobby of C-building in school campus.. I saw my crush na may codename na EJP.. well it made me happy that day. Matatagal ko na rin na hindi siya nakikita kase nga di mag meet ang schedule namin. fortunately! kahapon nagkita kame at nag-hello siya..hehehe ang lola naman kinilig..
kilig to da bone!bwahaha
abot tingga ang smile ni megumi....
Thanks ejp..

Monday, June 9, 2008

reunion??

Today, I am very happy 'coz I met my childhood friend. I missed her so much because since summer started we dont have chance to get together.
I really treasured her as my friend since kindergarten we're been friends and I do believed the friendship I found with her is a gift. Though there are friends who leave me and forget about me she's still there willing to be my sister and friend.
Thanks April....

Sunday, May 18, 2008


Today, the school sponsored a community extension in Agdao, Davao City an "Operation Tuli". It was wonderful experience! I can't explain the feeling I have, well I think it just natural for me to feel like this because this is new for me.
I'm happy for the young men who bravely conquered their fear- syringe!!

Congratulations!!!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

A lot of things happened because of this out of town clinical rotation!

Isa na doon ang magkaroon kami ng pagkakataon ng x-bestfriend ko na mag-usap.

Ganito kase ang story.. She arrived last Sunday at dormitory for our clinical exposure. Unfortunately, hindi siya pinapasok sa dorm kase nga siya lang mag-isa at lugi daw sila kung siya lang ang mag-accomodate sa dorm.. what a damn reason!
Anyway, she text me about what happen to her.. (feeling close ba?)

Kawawa naman siya walang kakilala sa Panabo City. What I did I offered her na sa bahay na lang magstay for the mean time at naisip ko.

We talked a lot, parang walang nangyari about her family ganun pa rin, walang pagbabago (who cares I don't care!), about bea her sister at thge same my inaanak , financial problem nila (meron din akong ganyan na problema). Parang antagal namin di nagkita marami pa sana topics kaso gusto ko ng matulog may duty pa. I said to her, una na ako matulog..

I'm glad walang isa sa amin ang nag-open about what happen to us with our friendship, buti na lang!

I confessed, that time were been together, I feel sad on what happen with our friendship and at the same time I feel mad at her. Ayoko lang ipakita.
Plastic no?
That time kase, ako yung tipong tao na mas tinatago kung ano ang tunay na nararamdaman.
Its better to hide what I really feel which is very wrong!
Ang inisip ko lang that time ang tulungan siya bilang classmate niya at respeto kung anung meron kami dati yun ay ang friendship that we had build for one year and six months.

its amazing experience!!!
we are assigned in or/dr last clinical rotation..
naka-assist kami nang may manganak
lahat kami ay tuwawang tuwa nang
makita namin ang first baby namin,
a baby boy ang cute niya ka-birthday
pa niya ang groupmate ko....
ako ang nag-cord dress sa baby nakakatakot
hawakan sa una pero nang lumaon
nawala na yung takot ko..

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Worry is a kind of faith. Faith in Satan instead with God! I can say that most of the time I worry about things- small or big because I tend to be PERFECTIONIST. Everything should be perfect in accordance with my standards that in the end lead me to DEPRESSION because things turn out beyond what it should be.
I claimed myself that I’m a CHRISTIAN but what I’m doing is contrary on what should a Christian intended to be- live a CHRIST-like life…
Last 22-April-2008, almost 2 o'clock in the morning still I'm awake I keep on thinking about things- what might happen tomorrow, about my responsibilities if I can do things I intended to do. There are times that that worry almost ruled on me… But I thank god coz He really loves me and He didn’t leave me especially in weak moments of my life. He lead me to the path where I should go and He used people just to manifest His great love to me..
I keep on praying that this feeling will lose and trusting and loving Him will rule in my heart. He promised on the passage of Psalm 23 that He is our shepherd and we are His sheep if we lost He will find ways to look for us…

;;