Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Bago Kong Pag-ibig!

curious? Well, this blog post is just for my new crush. He is Zanjoe Marudo. I find him cute- the way he smile and stare. Parang nakita ko na siya personally no? oo, nakita ko na siya sa television! Right now, siya ang crush ko na artista. Tall, dark and handsome. Goodbye to Dingdong Dantes! Di ko na siya crush. Di na kasi siya tulad nung dati na chubby and I find him that time “cutie”.

“The Wedding” his new show with Anne Curtis and Derek Ramsey. Nakakakilig siya kahit paano.


Nearsighted. Right eye 70/20. Left eye 50/20.

This problem started when I was in first year college. I had difficulty reading things in far distance. The worst thing was I’m always at the back because of “ALPHABETICAL” seating arrangement! What would I expect my surname is always on the bottom of the class list! It seemed so difficult to copy notes either on the powerpoint presentation or visual aid in the blackboard. However, my classmates particularly my seat mates was understanding, while they were making their notes they also read it for or I simply borrow their notes for me to copy. I found this friend of mine my “mate”- classmate, seat mate and group mate. We are inseparable! Thanks to her for 12 months she was my eyeglasses.

I decided that I do something about it! I told my Mama that I want have an eye consultation and bought me eyeglasses. After that everything so fine and can see clearly with the used of eyeglasses.

Until now still I’m using my eyeglasses but that often. Sometimes I just leave it. There was an instance my friend thought me that I’m snob because I didn’t approach her when she found me and calls my name. I heard someone call my name but I didn’t recognized that she was calling me. “nung malapit na ako sa kanya sabi niya, grabe ka Grace tawag ako ng tawag sayo di mo man lang ako narecognize na ako yung tumatawag sayo” I apologized for that. “sorry po. nakita kita pero di ko alam na ikaw pala yan ngayon ko lang napagtanto na Makita kita sa malapitan.” One reason why didn’t wearing it outside because it looks I’m intelligent, knows everything which I’m not.

Now, I’m wishing to have contact lens it seems more comfortable and convenient to wear. Soon!

Ghost of the past

I hope this would be my last blog post for my dear special someone.
When I had my review last summer, I was preoccupied that he (J*****) will arrive from Manila. I was in Davao City that time for my review still there moments that I remember him and even asked myself if he is fine, if he is happy or sad, if there something bother him and I hope he is with someone who cared and loved him as much I did. I can’t resist on it I just miss you “Chum” (name that I used to call him) and I want to see you for the last time.

I made silly thing! I made an excuse just to go home to see him. Saturday night I went home for the reason I have: first I want to attend a Sunday mass in my home church and second to elucidate if he got home already. Exactly! He was there with his family attended the mass. Gushong! I see each other again. It was my awaited moment, sad to say he didn’t even smile on me or says a simple hi or hello.

I think there are some who didn’t understand why I can’t let go with the feelings I had for him simply because I can’t find any reason to forget my feelings with him or hate him for me to forget him easily. What he did that moment made me wake up in my longest dream and realized that it hurts me a lot. Pain scale of 10/10! There’s no reason to hold on with the past memories we have together. Now, it’s time to go. I hope it would not be too late. There were some who shown me love and care like you did for me but still I chose you. From the start I was unjust to myself because I didn’t give a chance to be free from that chain.

****written last May

Saturday, July 4, 2009

what, me WORRY?

I examined myself last night, how fine I am. Then I realized I am sick, very sick! I cried out loud in Him and confessed what I really feel. He knows everything about what inside my heart and mind. I am bombarded of anxious thoughts. I hate to admit that I’m a worrier. And precisely because there a lot of people like me, Jesus addressed this problem in Matthew 6:25-34 when He said: “Don’t worry about the basic needs of life-food, clothing, shelter –and don’t worry about tomorrow. Worry may be a symptom of a bigger problem. Sometimes it’s a lack of gratitude for the way God has cared for us in the past. Or perhaps it’s a lack of faith that God really is trustworthy. Or it may be a refusal to depend on God instead of ourselves.

Deep inside my heart I believe this things I experience right now just mere a test of faith. I can’t help it to thank Him and praise His name because He shown His love and care to me. Every trials I encountered, He always there for me as a source of strength and encourage to fight. He guides me where to go, assist me when I feel weak and lifted me when I stumble. Amazing! He really works! He never fails us and I felt guilty about it.

Someone shared me this wonderful SMS, a prayer that I think really designed for me to pray to Him. It said:
“Lord, thank You for Your infinite love that meet our every need and provides all the beautiful, wonderful things we experience in life. Release our hearts and minds from anger, fear and worry. Fill us with your peace, as we learn to fully trust in Your provision. Help us to do all that we are capable of and the rest, we entrust to you. In God’s name, we pray, Amen.

--------------this blog post written last July 1, 2009 Wednesday--------------