Saturday, April 25, 2009

exhausted

recently, i taking up my review for PNLE for this coming June.
I feel soooooooo exhausted and i cant convey the right adjective about what I really feel.
I feel so anxious! Based on our review I'm now in Mild anxiety level! Low serotonin level which results to desturbed sleeping pattern and feeling unhappy.
gush! I'm preoccupied a lot of things- "pano kung di ako makapasa?", "antalino ng mga kasama ko. ako naman? Im just an average student!" Ang sama ko I'm comparing myself to other people. Another thing, I see my parents na medyo nahihirapan sila sa kalagayan namin ngayon. Right now, my father taking up his "schooling" here in davao city kaya pareho kame ni papa na andito sa davao everyday siya umuwe sa amin kaya ang gastos and everything lumalaki din. Si mama ang kawawa nahihirapan na sa pagbabudget na pera para sa gastusin. Sagad na palabigasan! este! babuyan pala, yun ang meron kame.. joke lang! mukhang seryoso naman ang post na eto..

I know kaya ko eto pero... di ko lang maiwasan na isipin ang mga bagay na eto.
I have faith with God, my GREAT PROVIDER and He always keep His promises. Forgive me oh Lord for being such. Help me! Help me!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

seeing you again?

it sunday!

this sunday there something special..

i thought he arrived already from manila..

sad to say he was not around.

today, i attended the first service and to be honest I am expecting he would there also. I saw his parents, sister and grandpa but he was not there.

I looked for him. I even used my peripheral vision that morning frequently in looking for him. at di ako makaconcentrate! OMG! still my heart longing to see him kahit sa ganoong paraan mapawi ang pagkamiss ko sa kanya.

I saw a guy I thought siya yun together with her girl. Nasambit ko sa aking sarili kung siya nga yun, well, i think it is the best time to close my door with him. The unended story we had. But then, mali ako. When that day would come, well, it is the BEST TIME FOR MYSELF TO SET FREE FROM HIM, FROM HIS SHADOW, FROM THE HAPPY MOMENTS WE SHARED TOGETHER and open myself to other person because somewhere somehow there is man waiting for me or me myself need to open my heart to other man and experience how wonderful to love and to be loved.

;;