Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Ghost of the past

I hope this would be my last blog post for my dear special someone.
When I had my review last summer, I was preoccupied that he (J*****) will arrive from Manila. I was in Davao City that time for my review still there moments that I remember him and even asked myself if he is fine, if he is happy or sad, if there something bother him and I hope he is with someone who cared and loved him as much I did. I can’t resist on it I just miss you “Chum” (name that I used to call him) and I want to see you for the last time.

I made silly thing! I made an excuse just to go home to see him. Saturday night I went home for the reason I have: first I want to attend a Sunday mass in my home church and second to elucidate if he got home already. Exactly! He was there with his family attended the mass. Gushong! I see each other again. It was my awaited moment, sad to say he didn’t even smile on me or says a simple hi or hello.

I think there are some who didn’t understand why I can’t let go with the feelings I had for him simply because I can’t find any reason to forget my feelings with him or hate him for me to forget him easily. What he did that moment made me wake up in my longest dream and realized that it hurts me a lot. Pain scale of 10/10! There’s no reason to hold on with the past memories we have together. Now, it’s time to go. I hope it would not be too late. There were some who shown me love and care like you did for me but still I chose you. From the start I was unjust to myself because I didn’t give a chance to be free from that chain.

****written last May

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